Taxi

The cabbies volunteer to drive Alex to Miami to meet the daughter he hasnt seen in 15 years.

Alex finds himself inexplicably attracted to an overweight and abrasive blind date.

Elaine invites Alex to her party for art dealers for moral support, but asks him to lie about his occupation.

When Louie hesitates to attend his high-school reunion, Bobby offers to take his place.

John and his new bride are in financial straits, and only Alex has the resources to come to the rescue.

After John smashes up Cab 804, the cabbies reminisce about their experiences in the car.

A visit from Louies prodigal brother sours the dispatchers Christmas spirit.

Tony mourns the death of his goldfish, which he left in Bobbys care.

Elaine dates a congressman who badly needs self-confidence.

Latkas visiting mother finds Alexs company more appealing than her sons.

The cabbies are wined and dined by a film company looking for ideas for a movie they are making about taxi drivers.

Louie takes out a female vending-machine mechanic--and then brags about their sexual adventures.

The drivers try to make a cabbie out of a refugee from the 60s who hasnt quite put his life together.

Bobby questions his luck when a friend passing through town lands an off-Broadway role.

Bobby and Tony compete for the same woman.

Latka finds a penthouse renting for $3000 a month (maid included).

Latka plans to return to his homeland to fight in a revolution.

Nervous about meeting his girlfriends parents, Louie hires Alex for moral support.

Tony faces a bout with a champ who has dedicated his fight to a disabled youth.

Latka falls in love with a woman from his homeland.

To settle the cabbies strike, Elaine agrees to date Louie.

Alex survives a daring ski jump and finds the thrill addictive.

Photos left in Tonys cab by Herve Villechaize of "Fantasy Island" prompt the cabbies to indulge in their own fantasies.

Louie and Zena are running into trouble in their relationship, and Zena dumps him after confessing that shes been dating Dwight, a bartender at Marios. A depressed Louie tells Alex about it over drinks at Marios, and when they suspect that Dwight is working the bar, Alex goes up to talk to him. Dwight then tells him that hes breaking up with Zena for getting serious too quickly. Alex shares the news with Louie, who sees an opportunity to get Zena back on the rebound. Zena initially rejects him, but after Louie gives a heartfelt speech about what Zena means to him, she takes him back, despite her better intentions.

Alex learns through a wedding notice in the newspaper that his daughter is getting married in New York. Alex is very upset that he hasnt been invited and calls his ex-wife, whose secretary explains that he was specifically not invited. Alex crashes the reception anyway, bringing Elaine with him. Cathy, his daughter, is thrilled to see him and asks why he didnt respond to her invitation. Alex gets angry again and tells off his ex-wife, insulting her weight in the process. Alex eventually feels guilty that he insulted his ex-wife and he pulls her aside and apologizes. They then start to reminisce and soon find that they are still somewhat attracted to each other. When they are about to kiss, Cathy finds them and lets them know how happy she is to see them together and asks them to hug. They do, and everyone is on good terms at the end.

Jim is sought out by a detective, hired by his wealthy father to locate him and give him plane tickets to come visit him in Boston. Jim explains to the gang that he has been estranged from his family after dropping out of Harvard in the 1960s and changed his name from Caldwell to Ignatowski. Jim agrees to go to visit his father and brings Alex with him, who is curious about what Jims family must be like. At his fathers mansion, Jims oddness upsets his father and they get into an argument during dinner. Jim is asked to leave, but Alex speaks to Jims father privately to try to smooth things over. It turns out Jims father still thinks of Jim as his favorite child, but it hurts him to see him wasting his life when he had so much potential. Jim comes in and convinces his father that hes got a happy life and doesnt need his fathers money and they share a moment before Jim leaves.

After witnessing Bobby playing a lumberjack in a beer commercial, the guys are inspired to go camping and rough it in the woods for a week. They opt for a hunting cabin 100 miles away from civilization in the middle of winter, and their guide is justifiably concerned they wont make it, but they reassure him that theyre fine and to come back for them in a week. They soon regret their decision when they learn that there is no electricity in the cabin. To keep their food from spoiling, they put their groceries outside in the cold, but animals eat them during the night. Somehow they make it through a week, starving, unshaven, and barely coherent, but due to a snowstorm, their guide doesnt come back for them. They decide that theyll need to hunt for food to survive any longer, but the guys cant bring themselves to shoot anything. Finally when a wild turkey walks into their cabin, Alex rises to the occasion and shoots it. Jim says a prayer over the turkey dinner, which consoles Alex, up

At the garage, the cabbies overhear a screaming match between the companys owner, Mr. McKenzie, and his wife. Meanwhile, Louie tells them that whenever McKenzie and his wife are fighting, she chooses a handsome young cab driver to have a fling with, then confesses to her husband, and the cabbie is then never heard from again. Louie continues that even if the cabbie turns her down, she still will make up a story about him to tell her husband. The cabbies dont buy it until Alex comes in, overhears Mrs. McKenzie about to come downstairs, and hides in his locker. Louie approaches Mrs. McKenzie, surveying the cab drivers in the garage, with vigor, hoping to pimp Tony or Bobby, but she decides on Louie (her explanation is that since her husband would be upset by her fooling around with a good looking man, being with Louie would kill him). Louie breaks into Alexs apartment while hes sleeping and begs him for advice and all Alex can come up with is that he confront her and try to talk to h

In her cab, Elaine picks up a woman who turns out to be her old high-school rival, Mary. Elaine is embarrassed that she is a cab driver, especially since Mary heads a prestigious ad agency, so to save face, Elaine makes up a story about having a wonderful boyfriend who is a Columbia University professor. Over the next few days, Mary calls Elaine to try to arrange a dinner with their respective boyfriends, but Elaine keeps making excuses, as she is ashamed that she made up a lie about having a boyfriend. When Elaine is about ready to confess her lie to Mary over the phone, Alex grabs the phone, pretending to be Elaines boyfriend, and accepts her dinner invitation for that evening. At dinner, Alex is so charming, in an effort to make their relationship look very loving, that all of a sudden, Mary and her boyfriend become jealous that they dont have such an exciting relationship. Meanwhile, even Elaine is swept up in the moment, and is taken by Alexs romantic acting job. Having d

Jim picks up two men in his cab and overhear them talking about the secret to success: dynamic perfectionism. Jim takes it to heart and decides to use the technique to reach his goal, which he wont reveal to the cabbies. Soon, Jim becomes the perfect cab driver, setting company records on every shift. After a few weeks, Jim gives up, announcing that hes reached his goal and can no longer stand to work so hard. He invites the gang over to his apartment to reveal what hes been working so hard for. Upon arrival, they see that his goal was a room full of televisions, with satellites, cable, VCRs, and video games—his ticket to the global village. The gang is unimpressed at first, until each of them gets sucked into watching exciting things on the various televisions.

Elaine is forced out of her apartment when her building goes co-op and moves into Bobbys place while hes away with a touring stage production. Soon, Bobby returns because he is kicked off the tour for fooling around with the directors daughter, and suddenly, he and Elaine are living together. A few days later, Elaine tells Alex how much shes enjoying living with Bobby, when suddenly she gets a call from her boyfriend, who breaks up with her. Elaine leaves upset, and Alex briefs Bobby to look out because Elaine is vulnerable and may want physical companionship. That night, Elaine wakes up Bobby to talk and drink some wine with her, then Bobby panics that she is coming on to him, and calls Alex. When Alex arrives in his robe and slippers, having run 25 blocks through the snow to get there, Elaine gets upset that they have misinterpreted her actions. The guys are ashamed at their chauvinism and they all make up.

Bobby, who is appearing in a one man play, is fired up about a ruthless theater critic who has been writing scathing reviews. Bobby writes an angry letter to the critic, but throws it away without sending it, having already felt better for venting his anger. Predictably, Louie fishes it out of the trash and mails it, and it gets printed in the newspaper. Bobby is soon getting cheers from actors all over the city, but gets worried when he learns that the critic himself is going to be at Bobbys play. After the play, the critic finds Bobby and hands him a wonderful review of his performance. Bobby is overcome until the critic says hes not going to print it, because rather than a scathing review which would seem like sour grapes or a good review that would boost his career, not submitting a review will leave Bobby in obscurity and the critic will have his vengeance.

In part two, the gang continues talking about their new job experiences. Louie gets a job as a stock broker, after convincing the boss that his persistence and lack of morals will make him successful. While this proves to be true, he is fired nonetheless, because his colleagues cant stand him. Bobby takes a job as a bunny for childrens party, but when he discovers that a kids mother is a famous director, he acts out a monologue from ""Whose Life is it, Anyway,"" to the disappointment of the children. Alex gets a job as a night watchman, which is dull until he aims the surveillance camera at himself and pretends to be on ""the Alex Reiger Show."" At the end, Louie learns that the cab company is back in business, and everyone returns to their old jobs.

Jim announces he has psychic dreams and unfortunately, he has had one about Alex, culminating in his death. The gang becomes increasingly worried about Alex, when one by one, all of the events Jim dreamed about start coming true. However, Alex continues to reject Jims superstitions. Louie becomes so worried about Alex, he comes to Alexs apartment to take him somewhere (so the final part of Jims dream doesnt come true, since he is to meet his doom that evening at home), but possibly to spite Louie, Alex decides to stay and tempt fate. In the end, it turns out that the doom Jim dreamed about was a girl scout knocking at Alexs door, instead of his death, but when Louie leaves, Alex actually appears very relieved that Jims premonition was wrong.

Latka begins exhibiting multiple personalities again: not only Vic Ferrari, but also a cowboy, and best of all, he becomes Alex! Elaine refers Latka to her psychiatrist, but meanwhile Latka is becoming even more ""Alex""-like than Alex himself: he is a better cab driver and gives better advice to the gang. Alex decides hed better sit in on a psychiatric session with Latka and Latka/Alex is about to reveal the answer to all of Alexs problems (somehow he has figured out the secret to Alex in the midst of subconsciously becoming him), when he becomes Latka again. This leaves Alex extremely frustrated and after Latka leaves, Alex sticks around to talk to the psychiatrist further.

Zena asks Louie to drive her friend Emily, who has just been dumped and is drugged, drunk, and upset, back to her apartment. While there, Emily comes on to Louie and he ends up cheating on Zena. Louie soon brags of his conquest, but Elaine gets so angry that she is about to tell Zena everything. Louie decides to tell Zena himself though, who understandably dumps him. Louie then shows up at Emilys apartment, but Emily is clearly regretting her indiscretion with Louie and is getting back with her boyfriend anyway, so she kicks him out quickly. Louie, back at the garage, is in tears because he is so upset at the turn of events. Alex, feeling sorry for Louie, gives him some sage advice on how to get Zena back. All of a sudden, Louie turns off the tears and Alex sees that hes been had and gets furious with himself. As Louie goes to talk to Zena (and presumably gets back together with her), he assures Alex that the tears were real.

Louie becomes irrationally upset when he learns that his mother plans to marry an elderly Japanese man. Louie makes his mother miserable in an effort to thwart the wedding, but she still goes through with the wedding (a traditional Japanese ceremony), and Louie refuses to attend. At the last minute, Alex talks Louie into going, however, and Louie proclaims that whatever despicable act he might perform at the wedding would be Alexs fault for convincing him to go. When Louie is very close to wrecking the wedding, he has a change of heart and gives the couple his blessing.

Tony becomes the manager of a promising young heavyweight boxer at his gym, but after the boxer wins a major fight, the ""syndicate"" (which turns out to be some doctors looking for an investment, rather than the mob) makes Tony an offer he cant refuse and takes over the boxers management.

Louie becomes scared of nuclear war after hearing someone talk on Donahue, and he sets up a bomb shelter in the garage. He schedules a weekend drill with Jeff and Tony in tow, but finds hes too ""soft"" to survive if war really broke out, since he is unwilling to throw Jim (who has stowed away in a radiation suit) out of the shelter.

Alex is strangely rejecting the advances of a cute, bubbly, young African American cab driver named Nina. Alex is growing more and more annoyed until he decides to invite Nina over to his apartment to talk to her and try to explain why she shouldnt be so interested in him. Although he succeeds with a fatherly talk where he comes off very dull, they kiss goodnight. After the kiss, Nina is convinced theres no spark between them after all, while Alex seems to change his tune also, but its too late.

Latka is eagerly anticipating a reunion with his ex-girlfriend from the old country, Simka. She arrives at the garage and while Latka is in the bathroom, Alex warns her of Latkas multiple personalities. Sure enough, at Latkas apartment later, Vic Ferrarri makes his appearance and seduces Simka. Much to Latkas dismay, soon his alter-ego, Vic, and Simka seem to be an item. Alex encourages Latka to fight Vic for Simka, which he does in hilarious fashion and Vic never returns.

Alex runs into his ex-wife, Phyllis, eating alone at a restaurant, and when she tries to reach out to him, he gently tells her hes not interested. Nonetheless, Phyllis shows the next day at the garage to find Alex, but hes out driving. Louie manages to arrange a date with Phyllis, who is particularly vulnerable, having just gone through a divorce. When Alex learns of this (after Louie tries to rub it in), Alex becomes concerned about the depths that Phyllis has sunk to and goes to her hotel to talk. Too late- Louie has already arrived and has already tried to seduce Phyllis, much to her disgust. Alex then takes Phyllis out to dinner, leaving Louie naked in Phyllis hotel room.

Tony begins working out with a new cabbie, Lucius, who is a former football player. Tony is in great shape all of a sudden and Lucius inspires Tony to try to get his boxing license reinstated. Tony is not hopeful that the boxing commission will reinstate him, so he is surprised when he gets his license back. In addition, he getes a major fight scheduled with a promising young fighter. Meanwhile, Lucius goes away to Miami to try out for the Dolphins. Without Lucius around, Tony loses his motivation and his training suffers. At the fight, he is getting pummelled until Lucius, who has learned that he has made the Dolphins, arrives to inspire him. With Lucius support, Tony turns the fight around and knocks out his opponent.

Latka, who Joyce Brothers has declared is cured of his multiple personality disorder, asks Simka to marry him. They then must endure a bizarre series of tests, as is the marital tradition for members of their religion. In hilarious fashion, things get ugly at the ceremony itself, and Simka denounces her religion, when her minister reveals that she has just passed the last test and they are now married.

When Elaine is offered a job as an art gallery manager in Seattle, she asks the gang for help in making a decision. The cabbies share with Elaine some stories about life changing decisions they once had to make. Tony talks about how he refused to take a dive in a major fight, even though he will likely be in trouble with the mob. In the fight, Tony learns that the other fighter has also been paid to take a dive, and the fighter does so in comic fashion. Next, Louie talks about how he became a taxi dispatcher after mercifully taking over for the kindly old dispatcher who had to take his wife to the doctor. Louie finds he likes the job and forces the old man out of the dispatchers job into retirement. Finally, Jim tells of how he was very studious at Harvard, until his free-spirit girlfriend turned him on to hash brownies. (Part one of two)

Newlyweds Latka & Samka throw a Shloogel, one of their religions traditions. The shloogel is, in effect, a party at Marios where they set all the gang up on blind dates. Tony is set up with Vicki, an abrasive brunette and immediately starts arguing with her. Elaine is set up with mousy Arnie, who has low self esteem. Jim is set up with actress, Marcia Wallace, who played Carol on his favorite show, Bob Newhart. Louie is set up with Judy, a pretty blind woman. Alex is set up with Susan, who seems to be his dream woman and he seems to be falling for her immediately. Despite the fact that none of the other matches seem perfect, all of them show promise by the end of the evening.

In this episode, we learn that Alex can be a compulsive gambler. Alex even scares Louie off with his compulsion, but Jim talks some sense into Alex at the end (after having bankrolled him initially).

Latka and Simka throw a party and decide the last to arrive will be the one that Simka must sleep with. Alex barely edges out Louie, in hilarious fashion. Simka goes to Alexs apartment to seduce him, but he refuses her advances. It seems Simka and Latka will have to divorce, but Jim points out that they can just marry again after divorcing.

Alex, who loves the theater, takes a part time job as a gofer for a young producer and director, but soon feels mistreated by his younger bosses. Louie, spying on Alex at his new job, spots Alex being humiliated and uncharacteristically does not make fun of him; rather, he tries to convince Alex to stand up for himself and tell the director off. Alex is considering this when the director suddenly has a change of heart and apologizes for mistreating Alex and ignoring one of his earlier suggestions. As a result, Alex regains his dignity.

Tonys dad, a merchant seaman who Tony hasnt seen much of, arranges to bring Tony on a sea trip with him. Tony is hesitant but doesnt want to disappoint his dad, so he goes along. On the trip, Tony spends much of the time seasick, but bonds with his dad and they engage in a bar brawl in Singapore, and almost get matching tattoos until they think better of it.

Zena comes to the garage and announces shes getting married and asks the gang to let Louie know that she wants to speak with him. After telling Louie, he becomes convinced that she wants to get back together, and he meets her for dinner. Louie is crushed when she tells him shes getting married and wants him to attend, and he reacts very insultingly toward her. The rest of the gang goes to the wedding when Louie refuses, but afterwards he regrets not going and wishing her well, so he crashes his way on to their cruise ship (about to leave on their honeymoon). Zena and her husband are not happy to see Louie and before he can wish them well, Louie has a change of heart and starts choking the husband. After composing himself, however, he wishes them well, and Zena seems touched.

Louie decides to buy a luxury co-op apartment with some help on the down payment from the newly wealthy Jim. Unfortunately, Louie first has to convince a snooty co-op board that he is right for their building (as he comes in, they are rejecting actress Penny Marshall because they dont approve of the actress lifestyle). Bringing Alex for support, Louie has his work cut out for him when he sees that the board is bigoted. Alex goes on a tirade against their discriminatory process, and the board accepts Louie just to spite Alex.

When Elaines son, Jason, watched Tony coaching youth boxing, he wants to get involved. Alex and Tony talk Elaine into letting Jason box, despite her better judgement. In Jasons first bout, he gets knocked out by the first punch and Elaine holds Alex responsible. Fortunately, Elaine forgives Alex eventually and Jason doesnt want to box again.

Part two of a two part clip show featuring highlights of Taxi.

Louie is worried by the prospect of his girlfriend having her sight restored.

News of his girlfriends pregnancy floors Tony on the eve of his fight with a contender.

Jim wants the cabbies to experience the joy of giving, so he hands each of them $1000 to give away.