The King of Queens

Doug and Carrie Heffernan are a couple whose castle is invaded by Dougs father-in-law, who comes to live with them.

Doug is afraid hell lose Carrie when her boss drives her home in his Jaguar and gives her tickets to see a famous cellist.

Doug is uneasy when Arthur starts dating Dougs aunt, especially when the relationship becomes intimate--in his basement.

Carrie has her engagement ring cleaned and learns that its valuable, and the jeweller offers to buy it for $12,000.

Doug helps a sportswriter cheat on the drivers exam.

For Christmas, Arthur surprises Doug and Carrie with a new car--an appalling compact made in Luxembourg.

Doug fumes when he learns, before attending the wedding of a guy Carrie grew up with, that Carrie and the groom had sex once.

Doug lies and tells Carrie that hes made big plans for her 30th birthday--and he then scrambles to make the arrangements at the last minute.

When a cop who gave Carrie a traffic ticket asks her out on a date, Doug talks her into going out with him until their court date.

A government holiday is anything but for Carrie, who spends it cleaning her kitchen, and for Doug, who spends it golfing--or trying to--with friend Ray Barone.

Carrie asks Doug to join her at a dinner party for a Japanese client. But when he arrives ravenous after not eating all day, he discovers theres no dinner and tries to eat whatever he can find.

Doug and Carrie try desperately to ship Arthur off to friends for the weekend so they can enjoy some intimate time together, but no ones eager to take him.

Doug and Carrie feel pressure to have a baby after learning that a friend is pregnant. Meanwhile, Arthur recalls when Carrie was born.

Doug feels left out after Carrie becomes friends with a new neighbor.

Deacon & Kelly ask Doug & Carrie to be the godparents of their baby; Arthur runs into trouble at the pretzel store when he is put in charge.

Arthurs inclusion at an outing to a Mets game creates problems for Doug.

Doug and Carrie invite Ray and Debra Barone over for dinner.

In an attempt to get away from Carries friends for Thanksgiving, Doug invites Spence over.

Carrie wants to invest Dougs Christmas bonus; Arthur competes with the neighbors about who has the largest yard decoration.

Doug has his old football teammates over; Meanwhile, Spence tries to get his revenge on the football players for what they did to him in high school.

When Carrie is caught cheating at a board game twice, they trace her cheating problem back to when she was a child.

Doug and Carrie make new friends, and by a scheduling mix-up the new friends, and Deacon and Kelly end are invited to the same dinner party. And in the end, they have no friends.

Doug loses a lot of money when he and Deacon go to Atlantic City to gamble.

Doug gets pulled into a water filter scheme thanks to his neighbors.

Doug shows his romantic side as Carrie thinks he has lost it; Arthur serves on a jury.

Carrie is turned on by an imitation of Rico done by Doug; Arthur tries to chronicle his own life story.

Doug vows to lose 30 pounds.

Doug feels the urge for a new car and against Carries advice buys it for himself only to find out moments later that the workers at the IPS company are going on strike. He unsuccessfully tries to return the car, forcing Carrie to work major overtime to compensate for his mistake.

Doug and Deacon, who are out of work because of a strike, resort to playing sophomoric pranks, along with Arthur, to keep from going stir crazy. But theyre driving Carrie and Kelly nuts. Eventually, Doug and Deacon return to work leaving Arthur alone.

Doug and Carrie watch Deacon and Kellys kids while they are out of town. When one of the kids sees them making love, they must keep him from telling his parents...

A battle of who got the cheaper gift begins; Lou Ferrigno moves next door.

Doug sets up his sister with Carries boss so that he can watch the Super Bowl on a high-definition TV.

Doug is surprised to find his married best friend, Deacon, out with another woman. Meanwhile, Carrie questions her relationship with Doug because of their different views on cheating.

Doug lies to Carrie about having to work late so he can play mud football and get out of going to her seminar. Now sick from his night of football in the rain, Doug starts watching TV and begins to drift off to sleep... Doug, finally full of guilt, goes to tell Carrie the truth of what happened and she doesnt react exactly the way he thought she would.

Doug, feeling underappreciated at work, hears that drivers at FedEx are making twice what he makes. When he runs into a former co-worker now working for the big overnight service, he takes his friends casual banter to mean that FedEx wants to hire him. Doug uses this information to play hardball with his supervisor and instead of getting a raise and a better delivery route, he gets fired. Meanwhile, after Lou Ferrigno asks Carrie to smear his body with tanning cream while his wife is on vacation, she gets addicted to the stuff and overuses the it on her face, dramatically darkening her skin.

Doug, Carrie and Arthur head out to the airport to visit with Dougs parents while they have a short layover at Kennedy Airport on their way to Montreal. While there, his parents ask him to sign their living will, making him the one responsible for pulling the plug. When his sister Stephanie gets wind of this, she is offended that she wasnt the one asked to be responsible.

Dougs Uncle Stu asks him to get his son, Danny, a job at IPS. Doug doesnt want him working there but he doesnt want to look bad to the family so he instructs his boss to interview him but not hire him. Eventually, Doug feels guilty and goes back to OBoyle to ask him to reconsider Danny for the job. Meanwhile, Arthur fills out audience comment cards on a new movie.

Doug tells Carrie not to panic about having the baby, that he will take care of all her "burden," so he takes on a second job so that they can store a little extra money before the due date. Meanwhile, Arthur is annoyed that Doug still hasnt finished his bathroom and Deacon and Kelly reconcile.

Doug thinks he has come up with the perfect birthday gift for Carrie: laser eye surgery. That is until Carrie ends up nearly blind from the operation.

Doug rear-ends Kelly and Deacons car and he and Carrie insist that they personally pay for the damage so they can leave the insurance company out of it. But, when the Palmers give them an estimate of almost twelve hundred dollars, Doug and Carrie are taken aback, and what started off as a nice evening out with friends turns into two couples complaining about each others cheapness. Meanwhile, Spence is babysitting Kirby and goes from being the "Spencinator" to the "Scaredinator" once Kirby finds out that he is allergic to peanuts.

Doug decides to buy a pumpkin to get into the Halloween spirit, but as soon as Arthur sees it, he smashes it and banishes the celebration of Halloween. Doug, frustrated by Arthur "forbidding" things, takes it upon himself to go all out with decorations and ends up scaring Arthur so badly that he nearly has a heart attack and ends up in the hospital. When Doug finds out about Arthurs traumatic childhood and the reasons why he hates Halloween, he feels guilty for what he has done and tries to make it up to him by driving around town, looking for Arthurs favorite childhood treat. Deacon, on the other hand, is determined to find his son Kirby a superhero costume, but is frustrated because there arent any black superheroes. Deacon resigns himself to the fact that Kirby is gay because he turns down the Darth Vader costume so he can be a Power Puff Girl.

Now that Arthur is back from the hospital, Carrie thinks that it is a good idea that she and Doug get life insurance. She wants to be sure that Arthur is well taken care of should something happen to either one of them. But this comes as a huge shock to Doug because hes never thought about having to take care of Arthur if Carrie werent around. Once Doug finds out that Carrie has started smoking again, hes convinced that shes trying to die first so that he gets stuck with Arthur. They both lose sight of why theyre signing the insurance forms and Arthur has to snap them back into reality. Meanwhile, Doug and Carrie have installed an Arthur cam so they can monitor him while hes down in the basement. Deacon, Spence, and Danny get a real kick out of watching Arthurs mundane daily activity and find themselves addicted to "Arthur TV".

As Doug and Carries plane makes an unexpectedly rough landing, Doug takes the only available oxygen mask for himself and doesnt think twice about Carrie. She is hurt that he would think of himself first, while he doesnt think that hes done anything wrong. Its not until Carrie says that she will forever see him differently that Doug feels guilty for what he did and tries to prove to her that if her life were in danger, he would save her. Meanwhile, Spence needs to find a new place to live and ends up moving in with Danny Heffernan after things with the hot Brazilian exchange student dont go as hed hoped.

Its Christmas time and Dougs parents are coming over. The only problem is that Doug and Carrie are trying to conceive because of Carries "fertile time." After trying to not tell his parents, Doug finally tells them of the situation and leaves the house for one night. That night, Doug cant perform because he is under pressure by his parents and Arthur.

Carrie has decided that she and Doug dont spend enough time celebrating the good things in their relationship, and plans a night of romance in honor of the anniversary of their first date. It happens to be on the same weekend that Deacon has planned a group trip to Atlantic City, and he wants Doug and Carrie to join he and Kelly and some buddies from work. But while checking in to the hotel, Doug and Carrie find out that everyone in the group has cancelled and the only person joining them is Dougs boss, OBoyle. Deacon shows up later that weekend and confesses that after he and Kelly got into a fight, she packed up the kids and left him.

Doug and Carrie find an old, unopened wedding present – a gravy boat – from Dougs third cousin Ron and his wife Marcia. Little did they know that inside was a check for $1,500 that they never realized was there and therefore never cashed. However, because the check expired a year after the wedding, they ask Ron and Marcia to rewrite it. Though they initially feel they need to treat this unbearable couple to a few meals before asking in order to justify their actions, Carrie loses her patience the first time and she re-opens the gravy boat and "notices the check." The plan backfires when Doug tells Ron and Marcia that they want to use the money for a trip to New Orleans and Marcia sets one condition – Doug and Carrie cant go to New Orleans without them! Trying to avoid that debacle, Doug and Carrie attempt to sneak off to the Big Easy alone without letting their cousins know about it. Meanwhile, Arthur tries getting a comic strip he created into Playboy magazine, but his artistic talents leave a little something to be desired.

Doug starts to dream more seriously about running his own sandwich shop now that his Uncle Stu has generously offered him a large sum of money to see him realize his dream. However, Carrie has major reservations about this, knowing that Dougs gifts are not in running a business. Not to mention that Danny, Stus son, is very jealous and angry that his own father would back Dougs business venture, but not his own.

When Carries new afterwork routine of apple martinis-along with an accompanying much more relaxed attitude-come to an abrupt end, Doug and Arthur join forces to keep her drunk, a course of action Lou doesnt approve of.

Carrie and Doug begin preparing for tax time and realize that their charitable giving leaves a little to be desired. In an effort to get out of feeling guilty and to make amends for what they see as "selfish living" in the past year, they decide to make a donation to the local kids library at Deacons sons school. However, Carries charitable spirit starts to be about recognition rather than the actual joy of giving. When the administration mistakenly thinks the Heffernans gave $500 rather than $50, Doug and Carrie scramble to keep the recognition without having to pay the price.

In the first half-hour, Doug believes that his new dentist --who once had a crush on Carrie--is hurting him on purpose. The second story, which marks the shows 100th episode, focuses on Carries dad, Arthur. When Arthurs volatile behavior gets out of control, Doug and Carrie insist he visit a psychiatrist. During the session, Arthur recalls via flashback a disturbing encounter with his own disgruntled dad that may be at the root of his abrasive personality.

Carrie has been put in charge of overseeing a group of people who will be organizing and distributing legal documents for one of her firms big cases. The catch is that her team will have to work the night shift, and theyre "not the sharpest tools in the shed." Doug is disappointed by her new appointment because this means that they wont be spending any time together, but then decides to use her time away as an opportunity to do whatever he wants – eat in bed, not brush his teeth before he goes to sleep, etc. Unfortunately, he starts to get a little lonely but soon discovers that Arthur makes a suitable companion to keep him company.

Doug and Carrie run into Father McAndrew at the fish market. They exchange pleasantries and as they are parting ways, Father McAndrew tells them that he would love to see them in church sometime. Unsure of how to decline politely, the Heffernans instead agree to attend Sundays services. During the service, Carrie reflects on the one thing that she really needs help with – a raise. Miraculously, the following day, Carrie receives word that her prayers have been answered and that she is getting her raise. Much to Dougs dismay, Carries prayers turn to more frivolous things – like shoe sales. He does his best to convince her that God would never approve of her prayers, but soon enough Carrie catches Doug praying for the Jets to win their latest football game. Meanwhile, Arthur hosts an open house in order to sell the house. Unfortunately, he hasnt mentioned a word of his efforts to Doug or Carrie, the homeowners.

Dougs bowling team prepares for a tournament, while Carrie agrees to babysit Mr. Kaplans son, in hopes of furthering her career. But when Doug throws out a mercy flirt and Carrie runs into an awkward set of hands, all goes downhill.

Doug and Carrie run into Dougs high school girlfriend, Margie, at his favorite sports bar. Carrie gets jealous when she discovers that Dougs mother would rather spend time with his ex-girlfriend than her. Margie and Doug fight over the song that Doug was meant to write for her back in high school. Doug, intent on redeeming himself attempts to write the song with help from Danny.

Carrie wins 4 company seats to Knicks games, but insists on taking a couple over Dougs friends. But when they realize Carries favored couple doesnt work for Doug, and Dougs favored couple doesnt work for Carrie, they decide on playing cupid. Meanwhile, Arthur digs himself a hole by pretending he can "fix" parking tickets.

A toy from their childhood leads to a rift between Deacon and Doug. Meanwhile, Carrie tries to give her father a great Christmas gift, but this proves hard to do when everyone thinks of the wrong gifts they are receiving, altering their original gift choices.

Doug becomes obsessed with his own Super Bowl party after learning that many of his friends will be attending a party thrown by a new co-worker. While Doug is focused on winning back as many guests as possible, Carrie complains that Doug doesnt think about her enough during the day. Problems arise when Doug tries to throw the ultimate Super Bowl party and prove to Carrie hes an attentive husband.

Doug cannot spend time with Carrie on Valentines Day, because he has to deliver penguins, with Deacon, from one zoo to another. Yet, along the way, they run into some mishaps. Meanwhile, Carrie and Holly go out and give her tips with men to look for a man for Hall. However, Carrie inadvertently fixes her up with her boss. Also when Arthur and Spence go to up a pick a date for the holiday, he accidentally gets himself a date that is old enough to be his grandmother.

The mold problem in the Heffernan household grows and Doug and Carrie find out to fix the problem will cost them $12,000! Doug, with his tail between his legs, goes to his father to ask for the money, but hits a wall when he wants to know why he and Carrie dont have it in the bank. When Doug has to admit they have no savings, his dad wants to comb through their financial books to see where all the money is going. This prompts Doug to limit Carrie on her "wild spending," which does not go over well with her.

Carrie gets tickets to an opera but Doug doesnt want to go so he has Deacon help him lie to get out of it. Carrie catches him in the lie which prompts Doug to confess to a series of lies hes been hiding. Doug then tells Carrie that the reason hes been lying is because shes too overbearing. They both agree to be "supportive" of one another but this only leads to more problems.

Carrie cant stop buying expensive clothes, and then returning them within a few days. Spences new girlfriend is afraid of his dog and tells him to decide who he wants, the dog or her.

Carrie learns from Janet that Doug had a dog when he was 11, that they still have today, and Doug is 38! Janet admits to Carrie that the dog died, and they replaced it without Doug knowing.

Doug breaks the bed, and when Carrie and Doug find a new one that they like, it has to be ordered, thus leaving them with nothing, until they borrow two twin beds for the time being. Quickly the two realize that having their own space at night is making major improvements in their marriage. Arthur discovers that their sweet neighbor, Lou Ferrigno, is actually quite a gossip, when he overhears him through a peep hole in the basement that looks right into his yard. Arthur makes it his mission not to get tangled up in that mess by protecting what information Lou gets.

Doug surprises Carrie with a romantic weekend away at a resort. Doug and Carrie try to get over an argument theyve been having, but only make things worse. Deacon finds Spence and Danny in bed together. Arthur decides he is in an emergency situation.

During a romantic dinner, Doug is inspired to proclaim his love to Carrie. Carrie is taken by his gesture and suggests that they renew their vows. The two find that planning the wedding is much more troublesome than expected. The ceremony is on again, off again as Doug and Carrie are faced with endless complications, including finding a chimp to serve as Dougs best man. In the midst of the wedding planning Arthur is praying that his wedding present, aged Port wine, will go unused when he discovers the value of the fine wine on E-bay.

When the partners of Carries law firm notice Dougs softball skills, they ask him to pretend that hes a lawyer in order to play on their company team. Carrie worries that Doug wont be able to pull off being a lawyer, but he is so convincing, an opposing firm offers him a job. Meanwhile, after tracing his ancestry, Arthur believes his great-grandfather was a slave owner and makes it his own personal mission to correct things with Deacon on his ancestors behalf.

Carrie hears that her law firm is laying off people and worries about her job, though her resigning boss is only worried about getting an omelette bar goodbye party. Meanwhile, Doug is in hot water with Deacon when he loses the koosh ball Deacon received from his son as a gift.

Doug gets annoyed with Carrie when she loses her job and, rather than looking for employment, becomes extremely unmotivated. When Doug confronts Carrie about her laziness, she gets upset, claiming that she is simply trying to find herself. Carrie then enlists the help of Arthur and opens up her own company making decorative cell phone covers. However, when she invites her friends over to buy some of the covers, she realizes a new line of work might be in order.

In flashbacks, Doug and Carrie recall buying their house almost 10 years earlier and how it was mainly Carries decision because Doug preferred a different place.

After countless times of babysitting Deacon and Kellys children, Doug and Carrie feel that Deacon and Kelly should return the favor and babysit Arthur every once in a while. Deacon and Kelly decide to take Arthur out to dinner so Doug and Carrie can be alone, but they ignore a warning about Arthurs reaction to spicy food.

Carrie becomes furious with Doug after he is hospitalized to remove his appendix and begins talking about other women while sedated. To ease the situation, she writes a list of acceptable fantasies – and women – for Doug to dream about.

Doug and Deacons relationship hits a speed bump when Deacon unknowingly befriends Dougs grade school archenemy.

Doug must heal the breach between father and daughter when Arthur ruins Carries job interview at a prestigious real-estate development firm by making a nuisance of himself in the companys lobby.

What starts out as a valiant effort to win back the heart of Spences ex-girlfriend, Denise, quickly goes south as Danny gets a sudden case of lockjaw and the group spends all the money they took out as cash advances from their credit cards. To Carries dismay, she cant buy groceries because unbeknownst to her their credit card has been maxed out by Doug. Meanwhile, Arthur fills in at the front desk of the senior center and has some words with the pudding vendor.

After Holly gets kicked out of her apartment, Arthur insists that she stay with him in the basement until she finds a new place, making Doug realize the benefits of having two women in his life.

Carrie and Doug have a conflict of interest when Carrie begins to stay late every night at work but it leaves Doug to feel neglected.

Dougs position as the "Funny Guy" is threatened, when IPS new employee wins over the workforce with his impersonations. Meanwhile, an assistant is hired to work for Carrie, and ends up performing more work than expected.

Dougs parents pay a visit to the Heffernan household, where Doug surprises them with theater tickets. However, Joe Heffernan is distracted by his Train Fair, which causes Janet to develop a friendship with Arthur.

When a fight causes a rift in the Palmer/Heffernan relationship, Doug and Carrie attempt to get back at the Palmers by getting a new couple as friends. When their search yields nothing, they resort to two friends they really dont enjoy. But while dining with them, they meet another couple who are in a book club with their increasingly annoying friends. Now Doug and Carrie love them ... at least until they finish the search to find the new couples phone number.

Carrie uses her extra income to hire a maid, but Doug feels left out and decides to hire his own help in the form of Spences mom, Veronica. Soon, Veronica proves to make more messes than she cleans, especially when her newly subordinate position makes Arthur pine for her.

When the Heffernans begin working out with the Ferrignos, Doug secretly makes a pact with Lou so he can sit around instead of working out.

When delivering a package to his old high school, Doug meets his old football coach, and against Carries wishes, begins to return to the school on a regular basis as the football hero. Meanwhile, after losing his eye drops, Arthur manages to lose his sense of hearing, sight, and speech in one day and becomes completely reliant on Holly.

When Deacon snubs his usual boys for a new African-American friend, Doug desperately tries to find his own "roots" in an attempt to win him back. Meanwhile, Carrie runs her cuticles ragged to find out why her manicurist will no longer schedule her appointments.

While eating at a new cafe with Deacon, Doug manages to agitate their waitress so much that she demands they fight once her shift ends. Meanwhile, Carrie asks Holly to go shopping with her, only so that she can use her van.

A work event in a ballpark skybox leads Carrie, Doug and his buddies out to the game - but when an important client finds fault with Doug, Spence has to step in as the devoted husband. At Arthurs dinner party, guest Bernard, turns the table against him.

When Doug and Carries neighbor passes away, their grief is quickly replaced by hope when they realize his empty residence could prove to be a profitable investment. In their dash to close escrow, they become wary of another neighbor, Lou, whos neighborly way of upkeeping the bereaved lawn raises their suspicions.

When Doug and Carrie accidentally get a transcription of one of their arguments, they decide marriage counseling might not be a bad idea. And when Arthur gets hold of it, their argument becomes entertainment for a senior citizens group.

Doug and Carrie both have feelings of not being entirely popular at their workplaces, and both overcompensate to rectify the situation

Dougs frequent hair salon visits make Carrie suspicious. Meanwhile, Spence has his own adventures en route to a sci-fi convention.

Doug and Carrie hear conflicting reasons why Deacon and Kelly are not interested in becoming neighbors. Meanwhile, Danny and Spence each have their eye on a beautiful Albanian girl, who misinterprets the situation.

Doug and Ray Barone have a "guys night out." Meanwhile, Carrie gets a shock upon visiting her mothers grave.

Doug borrows a baby from Danny to prove to Carrie that theyre ready for a family. Meanwhile, Arthur feels he deserves to be a coffee shops "customer of the month."

Doug and his pals rent an apartment to use as a secret hang-out. Meanwhile, Carrie goes to great lengths to please her newest client, Kirstie Alley.

After Carrie accidentally injures Doug, he milks it to avoid distasteful tasks. Meanwhile, Arthur catches on to the ruse, and uses it to his advantage.

In order to afford a cruise, Doug convinces Carrie to cut her hair to sell to a wig maker, but regrets his idea after the deed is done.

Doug and Deacon discover they have more in common with each others wives than their own, so they start hanging out with each others wives as well. When Kelly tires of Doug, he ruins Deacon and Carries good time. Meanwhile, Arthur dispenses romance advise, and the recipient finds success simply doing the opposite.

Doug befriends a driver from one of IPS competitors, but eventually discovers its just a ruse to make him the butt of a joke. Meanwhile, Carrie becomes a mentor for a troubled teen, but isnt the best of influences.

Doug decides to spend the Heffernans tax refund on an ice cream truck. Meanwhile, Carrie fills in as a pretend mom at model homes, and discovers a reemergence of her maternal desires.

Doug and Deacon fill in for Supervisor OBoyle at the IPS depot. Carrie regrets her decision to complain about her companys chinzy gift for work on an important project.

Feeling hurt over not being invited to a block party, Doug adopts a dog just to prove to the neighbors that hes an okay guy-a decision he soon regrets. Meanwhile, Arthur falls prey to the gambling bug when trying to help Danny beat it.

Carrie is convinced that Deacon and Kelly were only able to afford a vacation home by being cheap. Meanwhile, Arthur tries to help Spence get a new job.

Dougs 20th high school reunion seems like a dud until an old friend comes up with a way to retaliate for a past grievance with their old principal.

Seeing friends who recently had a child makes Doug and Carrie consider adopting.

At Arthurs wedding reception, Doug and Carries marital tension continues, and they ponder whether they have a future together.