$#*! My Dad Says

Ed refuses to allow Henry to install an internet connection in his house, so he takes matters into his own hands. Bonnie needs to have a medical examination, and Vince convinces her to let a retired doctor check her out.

Ed tries to save Henry from the embarrassment of being rejected while they are on a double date. Meanwhile, Vince and Bonnie come up with an ad campaign for their real estate business.

Ed is embarrassed by an article Henry writes about him; Bonnie and Vince make friends with an it couple.

Eds ball-busting Navy buddy Wally comes to stay at the house, and their friendship starts up right where it left off 40 years earlier. But when Wally acts like a bigot towards Eds housekeeper Tim, he decides to quit.

Ed is involved in a longstanding dispute with a neighbor, Mr. Campbell, which Henry tries to mediate. Ed insists that while they don’t like each other, they are comfortable with the situation as it is, and there’s no need to get involved. Henry persists, and manages to forge a truce between the two men. But when Henry realizes that this is the same neighbor who confiscated his childhood bike, he becomes enraged and starts his own confrontation with Mr. Campbell. When Henrys prowling in his neighbors shed gives Mr. Campbell a minor heart attack, we learn that Ed and Mr. Campbell are actually friends - in a twisted, hate-filled sort of way. Meanwhile, Vince and Bonnie have trouble adopting a dog when an animal shelter rejects their application

On a day off from work, Henry decides to spend some quality time with his father. Ed, however, is only interested in picking up a Steve Garvey baseball that he ordered from Authentic Carl’s sports memorabilia shop. When Henry is unable to convince him to do anything else, he decides to tag along with his father. By the time the Goodsons reach the store, however, Authentic Carl has already sold the ball. Henry helps Ed find out who bought it, and they both stake out the ball owner’s house, waiting for him to get home. While Ed doesn’t get his ball, he does learn that father/son bonding can be an enjoyable experience. Vince and Bonnie, tired of Ed interrupting them in their new attic bedroom, decide to move into Ed’s garage for more privacy. They have also decided to adopt a positive attitude at all times in the hopes that this will help them conceive a child. But as much as they want to maintain their new-found optimism, the garage’s many horrible qualities test their patience.

Ed has a run-in with homeowners association vice president Rosemary Pernworth when she threatens to cut down his corn for growing too high. Never one to be defeated easily, Ed decides to run for president himself so that he can keep his corn as is. Knowing how Ed tends to rub people the wrong way, Rosemary invites him to participate in a debate with her. But when he gives her an amazing foot massage right before the debate begins, she is thrown off her game and Ed manages to sway the crowd. Meanwhile, Henry invites local news anchor Soledad Cho over to the house in order to conduct an interview with her. Vince decides to meet her because she is on his list of celebrities he can have sex with and not have it count as cheating on Bonnie. When she returns his advances, though, Vince decides that his marriage is more important than having sex with a celebrity crush.

Ed gets jealous when he learns that Rosemary is also seeing another man - an arrogant millionaire named Don. After a talk with Henry, he decides to tell Rosemary that he wants them to be exclusive. But when he arrives at Rosemary’s house, Don tells him that he is going to ask Rosemary to go steady with him that night at a benefit dinner at the zoo. Ed knows that his only chance to stay with Rosemary depends on sneaking into the event and beating his rival to the punch.

Henry meets a beautiful girl on the internet, but things get weird when she seems to know a little too much about Ed. Worried that she might be his long-lost daughter, Ed attempts to discover the truth. Vince and Bonnie, sad that their attempts at artificial insemination didnt seem to work, throw themselves into their work and end up as real estate agents on "The Real Housewives of San Diego."