The Adventures of Lano and Woodley

When Frank admits to Col that he is a virgin, Col sees this as a chance to show up Frank, so he invents himself an imaginary girlfriend called Jenny. But what starts off a trick becomes a bit more serious when Frank starts feeling left out and decides to move out.

Col and Frank take a job at a factory but have an accident with some Anti-Ant. On the next day Friday the 13th, Col finds out that Frank is very superstitious. To help end his fears Col takes Frank to the local video shop to hire a scary video. Already spooked by the movie, they receive an anonymous death threat via a phone call, then numerous events threaten Frank and Cols well-being. Quote: "I LOVE that factory..."

Col and Frank love the talent show Starquest and decide theyre good enough to appear as contestants. After working long and hard on a musical/dance routine, they feel they are far better than any of the other contestants and deserve to be treated as celebrities. On the big night, things dont go exactly as planned.

Colin scolds Frank for "not being a man", and suggests that he, Colin, could get hit by a bus, and then what would Frank do on his own? Frank panics at this, which is what prompts Colin to set up a "find your inner warrior" retreat for Frank, in their apartment - complete with campfire!

Frank goes around the flat, collecting old stuff to donate to the churchs op-shop including Colins favourite pair of socks. When Colin finds his socks missing, he assumes his neighbour, Susan has stolen them, in retribution for the offence he made to her lisp. This marks the beginning of a tit-for-tat battle which ends up in the middle of the churchs Easter "Rock Mass", with Col and Frank wearing their neighbours dresses!

When Cols Mother dies, a corrupt politician named Vera Watkins makes a secret deal with Births, Deaths and Marriages, to pretend that she has a long lost son, as her political career reaches a landslide, and she chooses Col as he has no family left. Col believes that Watkins is his real Mother and Col gets himself into more than he bargains for.

At the prospect of earning a thousand dollars a day, Col and Frank impersonate baby photographers, and manage to get the babies mixed up. This prompts them to attempt to reunite the mother with the right baby. In the process they learn some domestic skills, Frank starts believing he and Colin are married, Kiss each other, end up with 2 babies in their care, and the police on their tail.