Swift and Shift Couriers

A polar bear suit being couriered to a stage show is borrowed by Mario and Luigi to impress Luigis latest girlfriend. All hell breaks loose when footage of Mario dancing in the suit is uploaded on YouTube. The newcomer Leanne is told to fill in for a sick despatcher and spends the day with the horny guys from despatch. The air conditioning becomes an issue with the phone room and despatch fighting over the thermostat. Keith finds out the twins are road raging his Regional Manager and boss Amanda. Abdullah Azar, the stinky courier, is told to buy a deodorant, George, the disabled worker is learning the forklift, and an angry gay florist wants his misplaced mushrooms.

Swift and Shift has two brand new efficiency managers, Damien and Karen, who change the computer and logistics system. Unfortunately the system crashes and shuts down the depot. The only courier working is Mario who has to deliver a realistic looking sex doll to a farmer in a small town called Gallops Crossing.

Swift and Shift offers to transport the ashes of an Australian soldier killed in Iraq back to Australia as a publicity stunt to promote the company. Keith chooses Mario and Melissa as the team that will go overseas. On the way to Egypt, where the army accidentally sent the ashes, Mario and Melissas flight is forced to land due to a random tsunami.

Everyone is unhappy. David the Dwarf wants a bigger chair and is refused, he then calls Works Cover on the grounds the depot is unsafe. Sole wants to quit after being given one too many difficult deliveries. Abdul wants to kill Alex the despatcher and quit after being bitten by an infidel dog. Keith is under fire as a safety inspector from Works Cover is called to inspect Swift and Shift. And Renzo is rumoured to be having an affair with the mysterious shoe lady.

We return to Hashfield Depot with Keith facing more cutbacks due to the global financial meltdown. He has lost people in nearly every department. Melissa has been put back in the phone room, Murray is back as HR Manager and Abdul’s cousin, Habib, comes on as the additional driver. On orders from Head Office, Keith has everyone in the depot re-interviewing for their jobs. What he doesn’t know is that the interviewer Amanda has sent is a spy - to help Amanda set up her own depot using outsourced labour. Mario has a package stolen from the back of his van and ends up chasing the thief all over the city to try and get it back in fear of losing his job

It’s Valentine’s Day and like every year it’s extremely busy with people wanting their flowers and gifts delivered on time. Keith asks Anthony to buy his wife a gift, a new perfume called Pussycat. Anthony misunderstands and comes back with a real cat that manages to escape and run through the whole office. Lonely on Valentine’s Day, Amanda and Murray both try internet dating using old photos and fabricated identities. Without realising it, they set up a Valentine’s date with each other. Melissa, not wanting to be alone on Valentine’s Day, agrees to go on a date with Mario.

Swift & Shift have taken on a medical delivery contract with the government, which sees Mario and Abdul teaming up on some highly contagious deliveries. They battle with seagulls, a breakdown, a snake in the desert, climb a volcano, and have a bad case of ball rash. Mario goes to Keith to complain. Keith tells him to see Murray, Murray is on a flexy day and passes him to Renzo, who in turn passes him to Safety Officer Doreen, who passes it all back to Keith. On the verge of being fired Mario applies for a job delivering pizzas with Fat Pizza’s Bobo (Johnny Boxer).

Another day at the Hashfield depot has Keith arriving to Kev the Kiwi doing burnouts on the forklift, George with a toilet seat around his neck, Murray with an urgent complaint about the charity chocolate box and a hungover dwarf who is throwing up everywhere. Murray launches a police-style investigation into who is not paying for their coffee and chocolates only to discover Keith to be the culprit. Amanda threatens to fire any of Keith’s couriers with less than two points on their licence. When the RTA list comes through, Amanda’s name is on it and she has to scramble to get out of this one. David the dwarf gets locked in the toilets and knocks himself out only to be discovered by Anthony who manages to lock himself in the cubicle with him.

Keith’s 12 months to improve the depot are nearly up and he is short staffed with Mario and his pregnant fiancée, Melissa, in Las Vegas getting married, and Oliver quitting so he can have time off to marry Fernando the Florist. Amanda’s Indian depot is saving so much money that they are extending the overseas workers contracts. By days end Keith is forced to announce that everyone must attend Oliver’s wedding and that he has been given two weeks notice.