Green Wing

After being locked out of her new house all night, Dr. Caroline Todd is forced to turn up to her new job at the local hospital tired and smelling like a mini-cab after using car freshener as a replacement for deodorant. She soon meets the strange staff, but anaesthetist Dr. Guy Secretan is very welcoming and offers her his spare room for the night while he works a night shift. However after a blocked toilet incident, she soon realises Guys true motives after he turns up home early and she discovers there isnt actually a spare room. Meanwhile Dr. Alan Statham is having troubles of his own after someone defaced his badge by blacking out the letters O,N,S,L,T and A from his Consultant name badge, and his secret lover, Head of Human Resources Joanne Clore, tells him he isnt particularly well endowed – prompting him to check a corpse for comparisons sake. Someone else having women problems is junior doctor, Martin Dear, who unsuccessfully tries to get dating advice from Guy. However rati

Worried about her age Joanna is also concerned about the dreariness of her relationship with Statham, who in turn tries to spice up their relationship through spontaneity (with the help of playing his recorder to get himself sexually aroused). However he soon becomes concerned that I.T. wiz and women-pleaser Lyndon Jones is trying to steal Joanna away from him. Meanwhile Mac discovers that despite protesting she never wanted children, his ex-girlfriend Holly is expecting with her new partner. A delighted Guy soon uses this as ammunition in his game of one-upmanship with Mac, but ends up being traumatized himself when memories of his boarding school days come back to haunt him. And Caroline juggles her nicotine urges with searching for a new roommate, but is less than thrilled with the candidate being Angela.

Hormones are abound in the hospital with Mac the centre of both Caroline and Sues affections, Boyce and Kim having fun together and Karen writing a love poem about Martin who in turn is desperate to impress Caroline. And of course there is Joanna (sporting a new bleached hairdo) who is still after Lyndon much to Stathams annoyance, and so after listening to Boyces advice on women, decides to act mysterious by playing kidnapper and having his way with Joanna in the woods. Meanwhile Caroline and Angela decide to throw a party and the hospital staff are invited – including an apprehensive Martin who cant decide on what to wear. After turning down Sues selection of clothes from the ‘dead people box, the Staff Liaison Officer takes him shopping for the perfect outfit with interesting results. At the party the free flowing alcohol is soon evident, most obvious in the form of Caroline who makes out with the majority of the party, including a ‘sicky kiss with Mac after he helps her wh

Statham still isnt completely over Joanna and spends all his day trying to win her back by pretending to hang himself, singing ‘All By Myself to her via a megaphone and by challenging Lyndon to a tug-of-war in the cafeteria for the hand of Joanna. However when he meets the hospitals chaplain Cordelia he soon finds another object for his affection. Meanwhile Caroline is feeling broody but is having conflicting thoughts about who should be the prospective daddy. Still infatuated with Mac, she also finds herself drawn to Guy and his ‘layers - most of which he invents in order to manipulate her into a date out in the countryside. Martin gets his exam results (which are held hostage by Sue for most of the day) but discovers he has failed yet again – however not until Guy evilly convinces him he has passed. And a cardboard cut-out of Jesus keeps popping up around the hospital.

Its Macs last day and Sue and Caroline are struggling to cope with the thought of losing him. While Sue offers to kill in order to keep Mac in the hospital, Caroline spends most of the day trying to find fault with Sheffield in order to deter him from leaving. Meanwhile Martin finds himself in a tricky situation when he reads a personal letter of Guys and discovers that not only is Guy adopted, but that his real mother was called Joanna Peerson – the surname of whom also happened to be the maiden name of Joanna Clore. Unaware that his mother and work colleague are one of the same, Guy has no qualms in taking up one of Macs bets to prove his prowess with the ladies by bedding an older woman of Macs choice – Joanna. When Martin later discovers his half-brothers intentions he rushes over to stop it – which ends in a botox stabbing, staff on the run from the police in an ambulance and a major cliff-hanger – literally.

Statham, when not drawing breasts upon his x-rays, is trying to make Joanna jealous with increasingly desperate pretend sexual exploits. Mac is back at work and, with no help from Guy, is causing Caroline grief as he cant remember the twenty minutes that they were an item. Meanwhile, Karen and Martin have moved on to the next level and shes wearing him out.

Guys got problems, hes looking for a place to stay while fulfilling his community service. Martin is in need of some cash so acts as a life model at an art class attended by the soon-to-be-gobsmacked Sue. Statham is distraught at his parking space while Joanna might need glasses. Mac and Carolines relationship is hotting up but could all that change as his ex-girlfriend joins the staff?

Mac adjusts to his new rôle as a father while Caroline tries to make him jealous with Guy. Statham is rather pleased with himself for winning his radiologists community weekly caption competition which does not please Joanna. She employs her vertically-challenged cousin to scare him but a trip to the incinerator is soon required. Martin pesters Joanna for knowledge of his dad and hires a detective to find him.

Demented dwarf killers Joanna and Dr Statham are amazed that they seem to have got away with their hideous crime so consider themselves above the law. Caroline gets no fewer than three proposals. Sue gives birth to an infant with a mane just as impressive as Macs. Mac gets some bad news while Martin (and we the viewer) ends up with a strange sense of déjà vu in the seasons cliff-hanger ending.