Sanford and Son

Lamont buys a porcelain figure for $15 from a silent movie star and after having it appraised, Lamont and Fred decide to take it to an auction to make even more money on it. Fred and Lamont attend the auction pretending to be buyers so that the price can be jacked up higher. However, things go awry to Lamonts dismay.

Engaged, Lamont is excited about his impending nuptials but on the wedding day he quickly finds himself the only one who is. The bride dumps him at the altar and he finds his relatives begging to get back their wedding gifts.

Lamont comes down hard on Fred to try to get him to quit smoking and has him go to the doctor for a chest x-ray. Later, the results are sent in the mail and Fred becomes convinced he has tuberculosis.

Lamont tries to have a quiet evening with his latest girlfriend, Darlene, but has little privacy thanks to an annoying Fred who keeps interrupting them. Fed up, Lamont decides to move into his own apartment, which at first worries Fred but then discovers he himself has privacy.

Lamont purchases two coffins from an auction to try and get a profit if he sells them to a funeral parlor. In the process, Fred becomes paranoid by having the coffins in the house and refuses to sleep in the house with the coffins. Lamont doesnt think much of it, until he begins hearing strange noises at night.

Fred wants a new color television set and Lamont wants a new car. The problem is that they cannot afford both of them, so Lamont buys the car. However, after Fred discovers Lamonts purchase, he comes up with a scheme that involves him pretending to have amnesia until Lamont will buy him a color television.

Fred and Donna reconcile their differences and get back together with marriage being on both of their minds. Fred breaks the news to Lamont, who once again is dead set against the whole idea and decides that two can play that game and cooks up a scheme to stop Fred and Donnas impending nuptials.

Fred is sure that his dreams will be good luck in picking numbers for a lottery and his hunch turns out to be true, despite the fact that Lamont forbids him to participate. Fred quickly finds himself $500 richer but also finds Aunt Ethel and Bubba needing quick cash.

Freds cousin arrives with his new wife and his not-so-attractive stepdaughter, Betty Jean. When Fred finds out that she will inherit $10,000 if she marries, he tries to fix it so that Lamont will marry her. However, Freds plan backfires when Lamont catches on to his scheme.

Freds toothache becomes an exercise in patience for Lamont when Fred refuses to see a dentist and instead tries Bubbas home remedy and a hypnotist. Finally, Fred decides to throw in the towel and visits a dentist but insists on a white dentist.

One evening, Lamont and his friend Rollo go out. When they return they interrupt a robber trying to flee from the scene. Later they discover the crook dropped his gun and in an attempt to get some quick cash, decide to pawn it. However, once at the pawn shop, the broker mistakes Fred wanting money for the gun for a stickup.

Lamont pays $50 for an antique gun and brings it home to show Fred. Fred begins re-enacting war stories and accidentally pulls the trigger not knowing its loaded. The blast shoots through the next door neighbors window, who suddenly drops from site just after having a heated argument with Fred. Fred jumps to the conclusion that he killed him.

Freds old girlfriend Juanita stops by for dinner with her daughter, Alice. Lamont falls for Alice and thinks of asking for her hand in marriage. However, Juanita tells Fred that Alice is his daughter and Lamont is wining and dining his sister.

Fred and Donnas on again off again relationship is back on and he invites her to dinner. Later, Fred gets a visit from a saleslady who peaks his interest and he blindly invites her to dinner, forgetting all about Donna. Thanks to Lamonts manipulations, he makes sure Fred has to juggle the dates around, keeping up appearances.

Fred and Lamont have bills coming out of their ears and consider going on welfare, something Fred refuses to do. Fred comes up with a plan to throw a "big party" in the Sanford home and charge admission. Thats when two hoods show wanting a part of the action. Meanwhile, Aunt Esther is trying to find a place to hold her weekly church group meetings.

Lamont goes totally African. He starts to wear African clothing, and yearns to learn more about the culture. At the same time, Fred thinks that the whole thing is ridiculous, that is until a woman from Nigeria visits and explains to Lamont how sacred listening to your father is in African culture and how you should respect him.

Fred meets a young woman and he quickly announces to Lamont that he has proposed to her. However, Lamont is in for a big surprise when he meets Freds fiancee who just happens to be Lamonts old flame, whom he would like to marry himself.

Lamont breaks the news to Fred that he plans to join the crew of a tramp steamer and sail around the world. A shocked Fred gets another shock, Lamont plans on putting him in a retirement home.

A 9 year old runaway child shows up on the Sanfords property and Fred is against having any little kids around to cause problems but Fred quickly lightens up the young boy despite his gruff exterior. Fred then takes it upon himself to teach the kid to appreciate what hes got at home.

Fred comes home to find Lamont and his drama teacher Marilyn acting out a choking scene from the play "Othello." Fred then jumps to the logical conclusion that Lamont is trying to kill a white woman. Later, Fred becomes the victim of assumption when Marilyn invites Fred and Lamont to her place and her parents think Fred and Lamont are trying to rob the place.

Lamont and Julio go out one evening to shoot pool leaving a left-out Fred behind to sulk. Fred soon finds himself a witness to a burglary when he confronts two thieves burglarizing Julios house. Later, Fred refuses to testify and identify the culprits out of fear and a frustrated Lamont and Julio put a plan into motion to get him to, and it starts when Freds truck is stolen.

Fred and Lamonts TV set is on its last legs and Lamont considers buying a brand new one, however Fred buys a used color TV set for cheap. Things get out of hand when Freds friend Grady stops by and recognizes Freds new set as his set that was stolen. Fred quickly wants an out of the situation and sells it to his neighbor Julio for $50.

Lamont has decided to go in on a partnership with Julio in a used auto parts business venture and Fred becomes convinced that Lamont is abandoning their junk business. Against the whole notion, Fred decides hes not going to stay where hes not wanted and gets a bed at the local mission. Lamont and Julio cook up a scheme in order to lure him back to his home.

Fred and Donna enjoy an evening out on the town but then Donna breaks the news that she has had another man propose marriage to her. Not wanting to lose her, Fred decides to propose marriage himself and they plan a small wedding ceremony. However, Lamont is totally against the whole thing and has Aunt Esther and family confront Donna and question her intentions.

For a birthday present, Lamont buys Fred a pool table. But things get out of hand when Fred invites his buddies over for some friendly games. They quickly overstay their welcome and eat and drink Fred and Lamont out of house and home. Lamont quickly regrets ever buying the pool table for Fred and tries to convince him that the house is not a pool hall.

Fred and his buddies are down over the death of a close friend and Aunt Esthers over-reacting does nothing to help. Thus, Fred decides to throw a cheer-up party and intends to have it in the Sanford home, complete with booze, music and friends of Fast Fanny, a topless waitress.

Lamont is disgusted when he receives a traffic ticket for failure to yield on a right turn. Lamont is sure he did the most prudent thing for the situation and lets Fred talk him into fighting the ticket in court. Lamont is prepared to fight for himself but once in the court room he finds himself being represented ... by Fred!

When a man stops by the Sanford residence seeking funds for a heart association, Lamont, finds out some interesting facts about heart attacks and decides to use the info to his advantage. The next time Fred has a supposed heart attack, Lamont doesnt take no for an answer and Fred ends up in the hospital for a checkup.

Grady has been left in charge while Fred is visiting family in St. Louis and has promised to look after Lamont who comes home with a bloody nose, courtesy of Jo-Jo Jackson, after a fight over a woman. After taking a couple of karate lessons, Lamont goes back to the bar to confront Jo-Jo. However, a concerned Grady, decides tries to intervene.

After promising Fred that he will keep certain rules alive while hes in St. Louis, Grady tries to keep the house free of Aunt Esthers Bible meetings as well as not allowing Lamont and Rollo to have a party with a couple of fine ladies. In response, Lamont changes all the locks in the house when Grady goes out to a movie, however, Aunt Esther and the members of her Bible meeting become the next interference.

Lamonts latest girlfriend, Judy is falling in love with him and likes the idea of settling down someday with the right guy. However, Lamont isnt too happy with that notion and makes up a lie that Grady is his godfather and theyd need his blessing. Judy moves ahead and goes out of her way to shower Grady with her attention.

Fred returns from his extended trip to St. Louis and Lamont, Donna, Aunt Esther, Bubba, Rollo and Grady have planned a surprise party for his return. Fred no more than steps in the door and Aunt Esther and him are at each others throats. However, the real problem comes when Fred does some eavesdropping on Lamont and Grady.

Its the 35th anniversary of Sanford & Son Salvage and Lamont has two gifts planned to give Fred. The first is a new window with the specially printed title of their business and the other is an expensive ring that everyone has chipped in to buy. However, when Fred runs across it, he becomes convinced that it was stolen from Frank Sinatra, after Franks hotel room was ransacked by the Tip-Toe Bandit.

Freds friends Julio and Ah Chew are getting on Freds nerves and Lamont takes on the challenge of trying to change Freds bigotry towards minorities. When Lamont fails, he decides to move out and in with Julio, something that unnerves Fred who doesnt seem to get use to the arrangement.

A Japanese land development company wants to buy out the neighborhood with plans to build a brewery in the area. Fred, holding out gets bitten by greed. Freds greed is disguised as a "heartwarming" sentimentality and hes using it to squeeze as much money as he can get out of the developer.

Fred has a romantic night planned with Donna but Aunt Esther drops in at the last moment with some news, her neice, Elizabeth is in town and she wants Fred to have her stay with him. Fred is against the idea at first but when he takes one look at her he agrees, she is the spitting image of his late-wife, Elizabeth. However, there is another problem, Elizabeth is planning to move into an apartment in town and she will have two roommates, one female and the other male.

With Fred in St. Louis, Grady has been put in charge of taking care of his garden. Grady quickly notices a strange plant growing and assumes that its wild parsley. However, Rollo is convinced its marijuana and Lamont decides to turn it into the police. However, when Smitty and Hoppy arrive, the plants are gone but Grady has made dinner for everyone, a nice big salad for everyone.

Grady is getting too many Social Security checks in the mail and he is contemplating on whether or not he should be honest about reporting them or not. He finally decides the latter and keeps them, gambling them away in Las Vegas. Aunt Esther hits the ceiling when she learns of the situation and just then a phone call from the Social Security office comes into the Sanford residence.

Lamonts friend Herman has just gotten out of prison and doesnt have a place to stay. So Lamont invites him to stay at the Sanford residence. However, when Grady learns that hes an ex-con, he nails down everything in the house. Meanwhile, Lamont finds Herman a job at Esthers hardware store and doesnt tell her that he has served time.

Lamonts politically involved girlfriend stresses involvement in the communitys problems. This leads Lamont to phone into a radio talk show to express his views. Positive reaction leads to Lamont deciding to run for state assembly. But Fred soon finds out that this means that Lamont may move to Sacramento and leave the junk business.

Freds friend, Yerby is the manager of a champion boxer, Junior Joe Louis. Fred goes in and buys half ownership. Fred then begins training the boxer for an upcoming fight but soon runs into trouble. For Junior is pulled from the fight because of to Freds stubbornness.

Lamont has had a chronic headache for three days and isnt sure whats causing it. A doctor suggests that Lamont consult a psychiatrist since the cause may be stress. Once at the psychiatrists office, the doctor determines that Fred is the cause of Lamonts headaches.

Lamont has been in a daze around the house, singing songs and incredibly cheerful to everyone he talks to. Grady and Fred deduce that the boy must be in love. Fred learns that Lamont is on the verge of proposing marriage to one particular girl who works at a dress shop. So he goes down to meet her and is in for a shock, since the girl turns out to be a woman at least ten years older than Lamont.

Grady decides its time for a change and moves out of Watts and into fashionable Westwood to live with his daughter, Ellie, her husband Hal, and their two children, Laurie and Haywood. As a housewarming gift, Grady purchases an oil painting to hang over their fireplace. However, the painting he chooses proves to be quite distasteful.

Aunt Esther is fed up with her husband, Woodrow and has decided to end her marriage. She has become convinced that hes seeing other women behind her back and becomes even more convinced when Fred tries to hook him up with a swinger. Refusing to live in the same house with Woody, Esther moves in with Fred and Lamont.

Julios house has been transformed into Fred and Lamonts boarding house called The Sanford Arms. Now theyve come to the task of finding some boarders and soon find themselves bombarded with an endless supply of crazies, including a hooker, an ex-con, a hippie, a newlywed couple, and Hoppys eccentric mother.

Freds sister, Frances and her white husband, Rodney have been having some hard times and they stop by to ask Fred if they could stay with him for awhile. Meanwhile, problems at the Sanford Arms has Fred considering giving Rodney a job as general manager. But Rodney may not accept it since hes scheduled to perform in an act at a nightclub.

Donna receives a marriage proposal from another man and she decides to base her answer on whether or not Fred is ever going to ask her. Fred must make the choice now as to whether or not he is going to marry Donna. This leads Fred into turmoil and leads him to ask Elizabeth a heart felt question on whether or not she would object to him remarrying.

Lamonts friend, Ah Chew cooks dinner for the Sanfords one evening and a wary Fred is quite impressed at how good the food is. This leads Fred and Ah Chew to start a takeout business together with the headquarters in the Sanford home. Fred soon realizes that they should expand the business and turn the house into a Japanese restaurant.

Fred is a Scrooge-like miser during the Christmas season and his friends try to get him to join into the Christmas spirit, but he rejects the attempts. After being accused of a being a Scrooge, Fred falls asleep and dreams up "A Christmas Carol." Now it is up to the spirits to take on the challenge that his friends failed at.

Lamont has been saving for acting school and has just enough money. Meanwhile, Fred sees a commercial for a get rich quick scheme and decides to give it a try. Thus, he invests Lamonts money in a supply of Whopper Choppers that he must try to sell. However, selling them is the hard part.

Lamont leaves town with Rollo to go on a fishing trip but before he goes, he makes a bet with Fred. He is sure Fred wont make money during the week he is gone. Fred sets to prove him wrong by renting out Lamonts room. Fred finds himself in a bind when the pregnant girl he boarded goes into labor.

Lamont has been seeing Janet for quite awhile and Lamont thinks hes in love. But he doesnt know too much about her and hasnt wanted to push her into telling him. Thus, Fred decides to find out exactly what shes hiding and he goes undercover with Aunt Esther to dig up the dirt.

Lamont has been seeing Janet for some time now and he has decided to pop the question. Lamont tells Fred of his plans and he is happy for him. Unfortunately, Fred also discovers after the wedding that the couple does not want to live with Fred.

Fred is being honored with the Watts Businessman-of-the-Year Award and hes all hyped up about accepting it. However, an unexpected turn of events lands Fred with a serious back problem and takes up means to try to get rid of it, including, acupuncture, meditation and a corset.

Fred and Lamont go on a camping trip in the wilderness but Fred quickly gets sick of the great outdoors and demands that they return home. However, they quickly realize that they are stranded when the truck refuses to start. This leads father and son to reminisce about times they have spent together. Fred and Lamont recall scenes from previous episodes including: My Kingdom for a Horse, Earthquake II and The Engagement Man Always Rings Twice

Three jewel thieves try and find a way to smuggle some expensive diamonds from Hawaii to L.A. That is where Fred and Lamont come in. Fred goes to Hawaii to attend a Junkmen of America convention. The crooks then plan to sneak the jewels on Fred so that he can take them to L.A. without knowing anything about it.

During a mishap at the airport Fred accidentally misplaces the suitcase with the diamonds and the crooks start chasing Lamont and him all over Hawaii, trying to get them back. Meanwhile, the cops close on in, but not before guns are drawn on Fred and Lamont as the crooks trap them on a boat.

Fred becomes smitten with a woman, Miss Wallace who comes to the Sanford residence looking for a place to stay at the Sanford Arms. Meanwhile, a thief has been spotted in the neighborhood and to get the reward money, Fred lets the cops set up a stakeout in his home. However, Fred is in for a shock since the thief has been in disguise as Miss Wallace.

Fred becomes a victim of a con game when, two men convince him to begin a bogus special "Sanford & Son" sales promotion, in which the lucky winner wins $500. However, Fred has no intention of handing out that much bread but unknown to Fred, the con men have rigged the game so they end up being the lucky winners and Fred will have to pay them the money after all.

Lamont threatens once again to leave the junk business on account that they arent making much money. However, he also wants to quit and get a full-time job due to his impending nuptials. Fred then hatches a scheme by borrowing money from the bank and pretending that business is picking up big time, while secretly working as a waiter at a restaurant down town.

Aunt Esther and Woody have decided to have a baby and set up an appointment with an adoption agency to adopt an older child. However, on the day of a preliminary interview, Woody, so nervous about the prospects of being a father, gets drunk, threatening their chances for an adoption. A heartbroken Esther turns to Fred for help.

Lamont runs into Chuck Barris in a parking lot and he generously gives Lamont four tickets to a taping of The Gong Show, which happens to be Freds favorite game show. Fred decides to try to be a contestant and sets up an act with his brother-in-law, Rodney and Lamont. However, at the last minute, Rodney hurts his back and cant be in the act.

The tax season has come and Fred and Lamont have been going through their inventory to prepare their tax papers. However, Fred gets preoccupied when he discovers Redd Foxx is in town holding a look-alike contest and Fred is certain he will win the contest and the $100 that comes along with it.

The Sanford residence is in chaos and it is all due to Freds sudden loss of hearing. Lamont is convinced Fred has a problem, but Fred denies it but Lamont takes him to a doctor just the same. However, after the doctor removes the wax build up, Fred decides to stay "deaf" just a little bit longer in an attempt to hold Donnas attention.

Trying to avoid paying property taxes, Fred registers to become a clergyman for the Divine Profit Church. He appoints Bubba as secretary and Woody as treasurer. However, when the Bishop stops by for a visit, Fred quickly realizes hes put his business in jeopardy thanks to some fine lines in the contact he signed.

Fred wants a new stereo and tries to buy one on credit at a local electronics store. He soon discovers that they dont give credit to people over 60. This prompts him to take some action and befriends a rights group, The Gray Foxes and they begin picketing the store until they decide to change their policies.

Fred is tired of everyone walking all over him especially since he proclaims that he built his junk empire to what it is today, thus making him a king of an empire. Bubba suggests that Fred pay money to an agency to have them trace his roots. A couple weeks later Fred is in for a shock, he is a descendant from Jewish African kings.

Fred has been neglecting Donna and she decides to investigate and soon discovers Fred has been leading a secret life, not even telling Lamont what has been going on. Donna is convinced that he is seeing another woman but they soon discover Fred is really going to night school to earn his GED diploma, which he never got since he dropped out of high school to support his parents.