Call Me Fitz

Richard "Fitz" Fitzpatrick, morally bankrupt top salesman of pre-owned automobiles for 9 years running, hits rock bottom when he crashes a GT on a test drive, puts a woman in a coma, and wakes up to find hes grown a conscience - a living/breathing hanger-on named Larry, who joins Fitzpatrick Motors as a do-gooder salesman, and threatens to undercut Fitz debaucherous way of life...

When Fitz discovers his Father Ken is leaving Fitzpatrick Motors to Larry in his will, he has no choice but to prove Larry is NOT his long lost, responsible brother. And the only way to do it is a quick visit to his absentee, alcoholic mother Elaine. On Fitzs quest for closure however, he ends up at Elaines weekly key party. When he cant find the answers he needs, he steals her car. Meanwhile, demented Junior Survivalist Kara builds her now growing attempted vehicular manslaughter case by blackmailing Josh with a compromising cell phone.

When Larry and Meghan buy Ken a birthday present, Fitz scrambles to come up with his own gift to blow Meghans out of the water. But the only thing they have in common is cars and porn. So Fitz shoots a car-themed porn with Kens favorite classic porn star Candy Box. But shes a little older than Fitz remembered. When her kids show up, and her back goes out, Fitz has to man-up and save the day. By co starring with Sonja...

Hoping to take advantage of spousal privilege, Fitz proposes to a comatose Babs, believing it will prevent her morse-code testimony. In an attempt to placate Larry, Fitz makes him his Best Man. He throws a lame, kid-themed bachelor party - the kind of party Fitz never had as a child. Ali attends in hopes of getting Fitz too drunk to go through with the wedding before Babs is moved to a private facility. But a chance jail-cell meeting with an S&M submissive/ordained minister leaves Fitz free and clear to marry Babs. Everythings coming up Fitz. Until Babs wakes up…

Being a widower has its perks; the pity, the gifts, the inheritance - which Fitz uses to buy a plot of land for his dream bar, The Summer Wind Lounge. Ali learns her mothers dying wish was an organic burial. Unfortunately its illegal. But if anyone can help her skirt the law, its Fitz. Together, they steal the body from the crematorium, and bury her on Fitzs new real estate venture. Ali is grateful for a sense of closure on her strained maternal relationship. So she thanks Fitz by b. him in the car. But when she learns Fitz used all of Babs money to invest in his bar, shes done with him forever...

A sniper takes siege of Fitzpatrick Motors. Larry is convinced Fitzs cowardice in withholding his syphilis diagnosis from his sexual partners has brought this upon them. But as Fitz points out, it could be any one of the hundreds of people who want him dead. Ali meanwhile tries to get over bad boy Fitz by dating milquetoast Chester Vince. As the Fitz Motors team narrows down the possible shooter, Josh concludes its Kara. They call Ali to negotiate with the suspect. But the real hero turns out to be Chester, who makes sure Kara isnt tried as an adult. Larry urges Fitz to disclose his STD to Ali. But in outing their relationship to Chester, he ruins Alis chance of happiness with a good guy once and for all...

Fitz wakes up in a motel room with his captors, Ali, Sonja, and Julia, the leader of the Bad Men and the Good Women Who Love Them support group. But the women are divided on what they want to do with him - snip off his dick or record a hostage-style video PSA to warn women everywhere. When Sonja chickens out and calls Larry to come save Fitz, Larry talks the women out of a beheading, instead agreeing to take up Kangaroo court for the trial of Dick Fitz. Larry pleads on behalf of the defendant that theyre lucky hes not worse than he is - his mother left him, his father doesnt want him to succeed, and that hes still capable of love. A mistrial is called when Larry and Fitz learn theres bigger fish to fry - literally. Josh has been conned into bombing the dealership and if they dont get there soon, Fitzpatrick Motors may be finished - for good.

A giant penis defaces the Fitzpatrick Motors mural, and the penis is pointed straight at Fitzs mouth. Fitz is now determined to broadcast his heterosexuality far and loud. Theres only one question. How?

When Babs Devon’s body is dug up, Larry accidentally tells the cops that the Summerwind land is a Native burial ground. Fitz must fight to keep the site from being expropriated, how else will he build his dream lounge?

After the untimely death of Dexter Laine, theres only one thing left for Fitz to do - find a way to profit from his heros demise. Little does he know, Dexs dismembered feet will help solve the mystery of Dot Foxly once and for all.

With their father hospitalized for testicular cancer, the Fitzpatrick children compete to prove their love and get the old mans cash.

Broke, sans wheels, and on the lam…Fitz and Larry must track down Sonja in order to prove that Fitz didn’t kill her. But where is she? And is it true the Amish are cannibals?

When Fitz finds himself transported to the afterworld, he discovers that he and Larry really are two parts of the same soul. Only problem is that Fitz wants to party in hell while Larrys got loftier accoms in mind.

When Summerwind is closed after a demolition order comes in, Fitz wants to know who is messing with him. The fact that a Titmouse, an endangered bird, is what is stopping the club from being open. Fitz needs to retaliate.

When Fitz starts to lose money and sponsors for his campaign, he goes the Country Club to "work his charms" on the old money establishment to replenish the fund by asking them for donations.

"Sex For Votes" tactics that Fitz uses backfires when the Ladies Auxiliary president is found dead. Larrys approach proves more counter-productive than anything.

Fitz starts to bounce back as he starts to gain popularity. He plans to go after the hearts of everyone by claiming the "sympathy" vote for himself.

When Fitz finds out that the City Councilman doesnt have any rights to do anything, he decides that it will be good to find a way to repeal the by-law so that Summerwind will be open once again.

In order to repair the relationship between Fitz and Ken, Larry gets Fitz thrown in jail. Fitz realizes that there is one thing that he needs to survive, breakfast cereal.

Fitz wants to use his baby to sell cars but first must prove to the courts that he can provide a stable and loving home.

When the Fitzpatrick family learns their newest member has gone missing, no one really cares... until they find out Josh stashed the profits from the baby brothel in his diaper. Fitz and Larry follow Baby Fitz trail to Chester Vince, who happens to be holding Ali Devon hostage in the back of his van. Fitz and Larry soon join Ali, and the three of them must find a way to work together in order to keep a mentally unbalanced Chester from burning them alive in a quest to communicate with his alien overlord, before the track down the child.

Its a rainy night at the Fitzpatrick house, and Larry takes the opportunity to use large amounts of alcohol to con the family into playing his favorite game: Truth: the board game. Truth is true to its name, and even Larry ends up discovering far more about the Fitzpatricks than he ever wanted to know. When they wake up the next morning to find a freshly dug grave in the backyard and a missing Elaine, the family must band together in order to re-discover those truths and figure out what happened the night before.

Still reeling from the shocking truth about his father, Fitz takes a drive down memory lane that leaves him with an even bigger identity crisis than he started with. Now that Fitzpatrick Motors is defunct, Fitz gets Josh and Larry to help him steal back "his childhood car, Betsy", in hopes of selling her off to the highest bidder. Along the way he gets swept up in a flood of nostalgia that blurrs the line between man and machine. Meanwhile Ken, whos out to relive some old memories of his own, gets a rude spiritual awakening when he tracks down a lost love from his ...

Twas the night before the night before Fitzmas but the only visions dancing in Fitz head are of his face plastered on O-mo billboards around town. As part of his new O-mo image, Fitz has decided to give up drinking which prompts a visit by three ghosts to show him the impact his newfound sobriety will have on the people around him. With the whole Fitzpatrick clan scattered, Larry must scramble to rally the troops if he hopes to save Fitz from going down the wrong path.