Soap

This satirical soap opera introduces the Campbells and the Tates: two suburban families of unequal prosperity but equal lunacy and a similar zest for the foibles which make us all human.

Jessica fails to confess her infidelity; Mary fails to terminate Burts impotence; and Danny learns the identity of the man he must terminate.

Jodie tells his family about his planned sex-change operation; Burt and Mary tell a psychiatrist about their problem; Corrine tells Father Tim she loves him; and Jessica cant tell Corinne anything.

The Major kidnaps a neighbor; Claire fails to convince Jessica that Chester is cheating; Burts son Chuck, the schizophrenic ventriloquist, arrives; and Danny traps Burt in a cabin with the intent to kill.

Jodie goes into the hospital for his sex change operation; Dr. Medlow cures Burts impotence; and Jessica finally witnesses Chesters infidelity.

Learning of Jodies suicide attempt, the Campbells rush to his hospital bedside. Corinne and Jessica confront their men about their respective infidelities.

Burt plans a party to celebrate his victory over impotency, but a tragic discovery leaves him in no mood for merrymaking.

Danny takes drastic steps to keep from being killed and a mysterious woman arrives at Tinklers jail with a startling announcement.

After gloating over Jessicas arrest, Ingrid pays a threatening visit to the Campbells. Eunice and the Congressman receive a blackmail note and Lefkowitz agrees to let Danny live - on one condition.

Mary finally gets Burt to see a doctor. Jessica tries to make peace with Corinne, and Eunice finds herself locked out on a hotel window ledge in the rain.

Jessicas astonishing behavior on the first day of her trial for the murder of tennis pro Peter Campbell causes pandemonium in the courtroom.

Jessica Tate may be at the end of her rope when a surprise witness is brought into the courtroom to present startling and intriguing evidence against Jessica

Lefkowitzs threat to kill the entire Campbell clan and startling announcements by Father Tim and Mr. Mallu are temporarily overshadowed by the return of the verdict for Jessica.

Chester and Dutch escape from prison, Carol tells Jodie that she is pregnant, and the Tates all disappear into the basement.

Jessica gives Corinne marriage advice, Mary tells Burt she wants to go back to school, Dutch takes off and Chester has a seizure.

Tim decides hes cursed, Dutch visits Eunice, and Chester survives the operation but loses his memory.

Chester comes home ... sort of. Dutch and Eunice decide to run away together, Corinne tells Jessica shes pregnant, and a drunken Burt finally spends the night with Sally.

Dutch and Eunice say goodbye to Jessica and Chester, Burt tries to end his relationship with Sally, Chester disappears, and Elaine is kidnapped.

Danny is allowed to talk to Elaine, Donohue tells Jessica that he loves her and Carol leaves Jodie standing at the altar.

Burt tells Sally to find a new job, the Tates visit Dutch and Eunice, Danny goes after Elaines killers, and Chester regains his memory only to lose it again.

Burt, Danny, Jodie, Chuck, and Bob drown their sorrows during a night on the town. Tim announces hes moving to a cave in hopes of making peace with God. The police catch up with Dutch. Jodie meets Alice, a suicidal lesbian, on the Tri-borough Bridge. Mary moves in with Jessica. Corinne goes into labor.

Burt learns that Inga Swenson is behind Sallys treachery. Danny meets Alice, his first lesbian. Jessica decides to have an affair with Detective Donohue, who proposes to her. Then, Chester returns home.

Jessica tells Chester and Donohue that shes torn between them. Jodie brings Alice home to meet the Campbells. Corinne tracks down Tim in his cave to tell him his son is possessed by the devil. Danny gets a lead on Elaines killers. Burt tags along with Danny and spots a UFO.

Jessica leads the family in the exorcism on Corrines baby. Jodie and Alice grow closer. Danny finds himself in danger. Billy is taken hostage by the Sunnies. Jessica decides between Chester and Donohue. Burt disappears in the light.

Burt wakes up on the spaceship. Mrs. David arrives with Jodies daughter. Jessica chooses Chester. Danny is missing.

Billy is rescued from the Sunnies. Mary is oversexed. Danny is saved by Millie. Jodie is torn between Alice and Wendy. Jessica is sad to bid Benson farewell.

The Tates adjust to life with Dutch in the house. Danny returns home with Millie. Mary grows increasingly suspicious of ""Burt."" Jodie officially begins his life as a single, gay parent. Real Burt and Alien Burt come face to face. Billy and Leslie decide to pursue a relationship.

The Tates and Campbells gather to welcome Dutch to the family--and scare Millie away in the process. Billy and Leslies romantic evening is interrupted by her ex. Jodie and Corinne discuss single parenthood. Alien Burt refuses to return to the spaceship. Real Burt finally contacts Mary, then disappears before her eyes. Back on the spaceship, Real Burt convinces the aliens to give him a chance to persuade Alien Burt to leave Earth for good.

Billy tells Jessica about his affair with Leslie. Burt returns home to share his ordeal with Mary. Danny meets a black widow at the cemetery. Dutch makes it clear he knows Eunice is cheating on him. Jessica spots Chester with another woman.

Jessica agrees to see a marriage counselor with Chester. The Campbells urge Jodie to move back home. Burt is jealous of Alien Burts sexual prowess. At Billys 18th-birthday party, Leslie promises ""to blow out every candle on [Billys] cake.""

Burt cant bring himself to tell Mary he wont live to see their baby born. Danny and Polly declare their love for one another. Mary worries about Dannys interracial relationship, but Jodie convinces Danny to follow his heart. Billy loses his virginity to Leslie. Mary wonders whether Real Burt or Alien Burt fathered her baby.

While Burt searches for a world record to break, Mary suspects something is wrong. Dutch and Corinne bond. Suddenly single again, Jessica visits Detective Donohue--on his honeymoon. Dutch confronts Eunice about her cheating.

Burt rushes home with news that he isnt dying and vows to live the rest of his life to the fullest. The ministers daughter leaves Chester. Danny and Polly buy a house. Jessica catches Dutch and Corinne in bed together. Jessicas psychiatrist asks her out. Carol tells Jodie she wants custody of Wendy.

Danny and Polly have Burt and Mary to their new house for an eventful evening. Billy dumps Leslie, who threatens suicide. The Campbells brace for the custody trial. The Tates welcome a new butler, Saunders, who immediately regrets taking the job. As the families gather to watch election coverage, Jessica collapses.

Jessica asks Chester to move back home while shes in the hospital. Dr. Hill tells Chester that Jessica is very sick. Burts first assignment as sheriff is to remove his predecessor from office. Corinne convinces Dutch not to move out. At the custody hearing, Carol tells an outrageous lie about Jodie threatening to kill her.

Dr. Hill revives Jessica, who remains in a coma. Danny and Burt wake up in an adult motel. Mary is relieved to see that her baby is white. Billy dodges Leslies bullet, which hits Saunders instead. Dutch chooses Eunice over Corinne, who announces she will be moving on soon. Jessica emerges from her coma apparently healthy and surrounded by her many suitors. After the judge learns of Carols machinations, she awards custody of Wendy to Jodie. Carol threatens Jodie. Burt and Danny receive X-rated pictures of themselves in the motel room.

After Burt tells Jodie theres nothing the law can do to help find Wendy, Jodie takes matters into his own hands. Jessica returns home from the hospital. Eunice and Dutch announce their engagement, much to Chesters horror. Leslie continues her bumbling efforts to kill Billy. Mary receives the blackmail photos of Burt in the motel room. Jessica agrees to allow Chester to live in the poolhouse.

The Tates and Campbells learn of Jessicas abduction. Billy heads to Malaguay to rescue his mother. Jodie hires a P.I. to find Wendy. Danny and Burt plan to go undercover to bring down Tibbs. Jessica finds herself in the middle of a revolution.

Jessica consoles a depressed El Puerco and convinces him to fight the revolution from her house in Connecticut. Gwen testifies against Tibbs. Someone is spying on Gwen and Danny. The Tates hold a garage sale to raise cash. Burt and Mary make an appointment for sex. Jodie and Maggies search for Carol and Wendy leads them to a rowdy saloon.

Jessica returns home with El Puerco and his three Juans. Danny asks Gwen to move in with him. Jodie and Maggie, on their way to Alaska to find Wendy, admit their mutual attraction. Burt suffers a crisis of faith.

Burt vows to make Tibbs pay for his crimes; Jessica makes an unsuccessful attempt to seduce El; Dannys critical injury requires a kidney from a blood relative.

Jessica and Danny are both shocked by the news that Chester is Dannys real father; Burt becomes a media hero because of his attack on Tibbs; Chester and Danny face surgery together.

Burt alienates his family as his fame continues to grow; Danny is offended when Burt disapproves of his plans to marry Gwen; Jessica forgives Chester, but cant forgive Mary; Saunders proposes a plan to rescue Jodie and Maggie; Gwen is coerced by a hoodlum into spying on Burt and Danny.

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